Relationships Archives

John Gottman’s 4 Steps to Escape a “Gridlock” in a Marriage

What exactly is “gridlock” in the context of a marriage? What are the signs that your relationship has gotten stuck in a gridlock? According to John Gottman, gridlock is the struggle to resolve an ongoing marital problem. In his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (along with co-author Nan Silver), Gottman explains that you can learn to live with an ongoing problem. But if you don’t, the problem will build up and grow into a gridlock. Here’s how to avoid getting into a gridlock and how to get out of it if you’re stuck.

Why Do Most Marriages Fail? They Lack a Shared Culture

Why do most marriages fail? How can you minimize the chances of your marriage ending in divorce? In their book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Gottman and Silver explain that every marriage has its own culture—a shared understanding of what matters and what you’re working toward. The greater this sense of shared understanding, the more robust your marriage will be. Here’s how the lack of a shared culture destroys marriages and how couples can work toward cultivating it.

Common Marriage Problems and How to Solve Them

What are the most common marital problems? How do you address an ongoing problem in a marriage? While every marriage is unique, there are several problems almost all married couples have in common. Most of these problems are solvable, but many couples drag them on for too long, making them a bigger deal than they have to be. Here’s a look at some of the most common marriage problems and potential solutions for each.

Affection in a Marriage: Why It Matters and How to Build It

Why is the expression of affection so important in a marriage? How do you communicate affection toward your spouse? Fostering and communicating affection is essential for a happy and long-lasting marriage. This means deliberately focusing on your partner’s positive attributes and then expressing any loving feelings that arise. Here are some tips on how to cultivate and communicate affection in a marriage.

The 3 Common Signs a Marriage Is Falling Apart

What are the telltale signs a marriage is falling apart? How can you rescue a marriage that’s headed for divorce? The telltale sign your marriage is headed for divorce is an ongoing problem that leads to flooding. Flooding is a psychological phenomenon in which one partner feels so emotionally stressed that they’re unable to respond rationally to their spouse. Here’s how flooding destroys marriages and some signs that your marriage might be in trouble.

J. Gottman: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Why do so many marriages end in divorce? What’s the secret to a happy marriage? That’s the question relationship researcher John Gottman (along with co-author Nan Silver) answers in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. The book is a step-by-step blueprint for cultivating a happier, emotionally fulfilling marriage. Here’s a brief overview of John Gottman’s The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

What to Do If Someone Is Overstepping Boundaries

What should you do when someone is overstepping boundaries with you? What’s the best way to respond to boundary violations? It can be distressing when someone oversteps your boundaries, but you shouldn’t jump to conclusions. When someone crosses your personal boundaries, it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t respect them. Therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab explains how to deal with boundary violations, both minor and major.

How to Have a Successful Marriage: First, Be Friends

What’s the key to a successful marriage? What do happily married couples do differently? According to relationship researcher John Gottman, the foundation of a successful and emotionally fulfilling marriage is marital friendship. If your marriage lacks this foundation, it’s only a matter of time before cracks begin to appear. Here’s how to have a successful marriage, according to Gottman and Silver.

Dealing With Boundary Issues: Tips From a Therapist

Do people often overstep your personal boundaries? How do you effectively establish and appropriately communicate your boundaries? Setting boundaries can be tricky, but it’s essential for respectful and harmonious relationships. It can be especially challenging to set boundaries with loved ones and at work. Therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab provides strategies for dealing with common boundary issues.

How to Improve Your Marriage: The 4 Principles to Follow

Are cracks beginning to show in your marriage? What are some things you can do to prevent your marriage from deteriorating beyond repair? If you are seeing signs that your marriage is beginning to fail, put your efforts toward improving your marital friendship. According to relationship researcher John Gottman, improving your marital friendship is a matter of following four principles. Here’s how to improve your marriage, according to Gottman.