This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "The School of Life" by The School of Life. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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What are the most important emotional intelligence skills in the workplace? Why is emotional intelligence important at work?
According to the authors of The School of Life, there are two common issues in the workplace that can be best dealt with by using emotional intelligence skills. By learning these two skills, you can feel more emotionally secure and satisfied in the work you do.
Read on to discover which two emotional intelligence skills will serve you best in the workplace, according to the authors.
Emotional Intelligence Skills in the Workplace
Why do we make the same bad choices over and over? Why do we constantly find ourselves in unfulfilling relationships, hating our jobs, and rubbing people the wrong way—and not knowing why? The authors of The School of Life have an answer: because you lack emotional intelligence. According to them, we’re not taught how to understand and cope with our feelings and the feelings of others, and this leads us to make poor decisions. However, by developing emotional intelligence across several realms of life, you can better understand yourself and lead a happier life. In this article, we’ll specifically look at developing emotional intelligence skills in the workplace for two of the most common issues: impostor syndrome and the need to specialize.
#1: Learn to Cope With Impostor Syndrome
Many people suffer from impostor syndrome in the workplace, and that’s why the first skill the authors suggest you learn is how to use emotional intelligence to cope with this difficult feeling.
Imposter syndrome is the belief that colleagues have special knowledge and insights that we don’t have, which makes us feel like we’re “faking it” and will be found out eventually. However, in reality, most other people—and particularly successful people—have the same fears and feelings of inadequacy we have and are no more confident than we are. Recognizing that everyone else feels like they’re faking it, too, eliminates the sense that we’re worse than anyone else or lack key abilities.
(Shortform note: In Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg advises a different emotional intelligence skill for combating impostor syndrome in the workplace. Rather than recognizing that everyone experiences impostor syndrome, she recommends rationally countering that feeling with hard evidence. You can do this by recalling your past personal successes and intelligence. Sandberg also advises “faking it til you make it” to overcome impostor syndrome. If you feel inadequate at work, act like you don’t. You’ll eventually stop feeling inadequate.)
#2: Address the Need to Specialize
In a capitalist economy, we’re collectively more productive if every worker specializes in one narrow task, write the authors. So, in the working world, we all have distinct jobs with prescribed tasks. For example, you’re a coder or a human resources (HR) specialist, but you’re never both because to acquire and practice both skills would be economically inefficient.
(Shortform note: While it means less freedom to branch out in the workplace, specialization—in other words, the division of labor—also made the Industrial Revolution possible. The Industrial Revolution completely transformed society, lowering the prices of goods, making them more available, and raising the standard of living for the average person. So while we may personally resent the division of labor, we must also acknowledge that it made possible the affluent society we live in today.)
But as humans, we have far more interests and abilities than the ones we use at our jobs. Many people would like to learn to code and be HR specialists at the same time. However, because we can’t do that, we see ourselves only as one identity—a coder, an HR specialist—which makes us feel one-dimensional and unfulfilled. We also become bored with our jobs and try to find new ones, only to become bored with them, too.
(Shortform note: The authors of Your Money or Your Life present a way to avoid feeling like your job saddles you with a one-dimensional identity: Expand your definition of “work.” If you think of “work” as including not just your paid job but also the unpaid activities that give your life purpose, you can see yourself as more than just a job title. You’re not just a coder, for example: You’re a coding basketball fan who volunteers on weekends. This may also decrease the likelihood of your quitting your job due to boredom: You recognize that your job is only a small piece of your life and that you can derive value from other activities.)
The authors advise that the best skill for dealing with boredom in the workplace is to use emotional intelligence to recognize that everyone feels this way about their jobs. No one gets to live out their fullest potential, so you’re not missing out.
(Shortform note: This advice may feel like cold comfort and also, in the age of social media, difficult to believe. We’re exposed to so many photos of others leading seemingly thrilling lives, that it can feel like everyone has the perfect job and life but you—so, trying to use emotional intelligence to put this skill to use in the workplace may feel difficult or even impossible. If others try to convince you through their social media presence or in person that their job is more fulfilling and exciting than yours, remember that people selectively frame information so that it shows them in a good light and that often, bragging is a cover for insecurity.)
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Here's what you'll find in our full The School of Life summary:
- Why most people lack emotional intelligence and make poor choices
- How emotional intelligence can make you feel more fulfilled in life
- How to gain emotional intelligence about yourself, others, relationships, and work
