Why do humans tend to conform to group behavior? What drives our natural inclination to follow the crowd rather than stand up for our own beliefs?
In You Are Not So Smart, David McRaney explores how our desire to fit in shapes our decisions and behaviors. He reveals the psychological mechanisms behind conformity, groupthink, and social identity, showing how these forces influence our daily choices more than we realize.
Keep reading to discover why authenticity often takes a backseat to conformity, and learn practical strategies to stay true to your values while navigating social pressures.
The Desire to Fit In
McRaney explains that we like to believe we’re strong and make autonomous decisions, but our desire to fit in usually trumps the desire to be authentic and do the right thing. McRaney explains that this is because of our human instinct for security—when we fit in with others, we feel safe. This can be seen in psychological phenomena such as conformity, where we change our beliefs to fit into a group, and groupthink, where we reach a consensus in a group without critical thought to avoid disagreements. For example, you’re less likely to voice disagreement in a group setting, more likely to conform to the wishes of a superior, and naturally prone to join groups such as cliques or even cults.
| Social Identity Theory and the Need for Conformity An alternative explanation for why we have the desire to fit in can be seen in social identity theory. The theory posits that we crave conformity and group membership not necessarily for safety reasons, but to help shape our identity and self-worth. This happens through three processes. First, in social categorization, we categorize our identity based on group affiliation—for example, you’re a “jock” because you’re part of the football team. Second, in social comparison, we determine our status based on the status of our group compared to others—the jocks are cooler than the nerds or the drama kids, so you have high status. Third, in social identification, we see ourselves as members of the group rather than individuals—thus we adopt the group norms, beliefs, behaviors, and so on. |
McRaney says that these behaviors harm not only yourself but also the collective. Feeling unable to voice your opinions stifles creative thought and could prevent a better idea from coming to light. Failing to question authority could trap people within flawed systems. Your willingness to join a group and share an identity could cause you to lose your sense of personal identity and judgment. To avoid falling prey to this phenomenon, McRaney recommends practicing self-awareness and critical thinking—staying aware of your true thoughts and values (without the influence of others), questioning authority and group consensus, and not being afraid to speak your mind.
| Embracing Authenticity In Dare to Lead, Brené Brown reiterates the pitfalls of conformity and lack of authenticity, explaining that these consequences can be especially harmful in the workplace. For example, a lack of authenticity and clear values demonstrated by leaders can result in poor innovation, low employee satisfaction, high turnover, and more. Further, Brown provides some actions to help you express and uphold your true thoughts and values, as McRaney suggests. First, Brown says you must identify your values by narrowing down what’s important to you and selecting the two most important components that you want to guide your actions and decisions—trying to live by more than two core values will often produce a conflict of interest. Next, live by these values. Double-check your success by identifying behaviors that align with and contradict them and examples of times when you were especially living your values. This will make it easier for you to follow McRaney’s advice and stay aware of your values without external influence, analyze whether something aligns with your priorities, and speak up when necessary. |
