Why is it important to accept death as a part of life? How can facing your mortality make you happier?
While it may feel uncomfortable to acknowledge, you will die one day and that’s a fact. Rather than living your life in fear of death, it’s healthier to accept that death is natural and to live life in a way that will leave you regret-free.
Here’s what palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware has to say about accepting death.
Accept Death as a Normal Part of Life
Ware writes that in our society, we avoid thinking and talking about death. Because of this, we often don’t know how to react when we encounter death in our lives—whether we’re facing our own or the death of someone close to us. Ware argues that to live without regret, we must accept death as a part of life.
(Shortform note: In Being Mortal, Atul Gawande says that the decline of multigenerational households has contributed to our reluctance to accept death as a natural part of life. In the past, multiple generations often lived together under one roof, with the elderly living with their adult children and grandchildren. In this arrangement, younger people witnessed the realities of aging and death up close as older relatives declined and passed away. With the elderly increasingly living apart from younger generations, often in nursing homes, the end of life has become more hidden and unfamiliar, which has left us less equipped to think about and accept death.)
Ware says that though it may feel uncomfortable, acknowledging your mortality gives you courage to live without regret: It reminds you to be intentional with your decisions, discern what truly matters, and live each moment in the most fulfilling way possible. You care less about others’ opinions and society’s expectations, and you stop chasing things that don’t make you happy. For example, when you reflect on death, you see that experiences and relationships hold more value than material possessions. In her work, Ware notes that none of her patients ever wished they’d bought or owned more things—they only cared about how they lived and impacted others.
(Shortform note: The death positivity movement aims to break the silence surrounding death by encouraging open discussions about this inevitable part of life. The movement includes informal gatherings like death cafes where people discuss death, training programs for end-of-life doulas who support the dying, blogs and social media voices that talk openly about death, and tools to help people share their end-of-life wishes with family. Supporters believe that by facing death directly, we can live fuller and less fearful lives, using our limited time more wisely.)
