Do you struggle to break the ice with someone new? Do you want to connect with anyone, regardless of their background?
Communication expert James W. Williams explores strategies for building meaningful connections in his book, How to Talk to Anyone. Learning how to find common ground with someone can transform awkward encounters into engaging conversations using simple techniques that anyone can master.
Continue reading to discover actionable tips that will help you create authentic connections in any setting.
Build a Rapport by Finding Common Ground
Williams recommends drawing upon your immediate environment to find common ground and spark conversation. To learn how to find common ground with someone, initiate a dialogue with the person next to you by asking for their opinion on the current event or discussing their experiences with similar events. When you’re in a park, initiate a chat regarding the scenic environment or inquire about their favorite spots in the vicinity. Drawing on the environment to initiate dialogue offers a smoother and more authentic way to engage, especially when meeting new people.
| Practical Tips • Wear or carry a distinctive accessory or item that reflects your interests, such as a tote bag with a book quote, a pin of your favorite band, or a gadget related to a hobby. This can act as a visual cue for others who share your interests to initiate a conversation. For instance, wearing a pin of a popular video game character might attract fellow gamers who recognize it and want to discuss the game. • Volunteer for a local environmental group and invite park-goers to join you at an upcoming event. This gives you a practical way to extend the conversation beyond the park and into action. You can keep a few flyers or a signup sheet with you when you visit the park, making it easy for interested individuals to get involved. |
Different Topics to Discuss
While Williams acknowledges the importance of moving beyond superficial exchanges, he points out that initiating dialogue with topics like the weather, current events, or individual hobbies serves as a practical first move. These subjects provide a seamless method to begin a conversation, allowing you to identify the passions of the individual you’re engaging with, and smoothly progress into deeper discussions as you build rapport.
| Practical Tip • Create a personal “conversation starter” journal where you jot down interesting things you’ve done, seen, or read each week to use as fodder for starting conversations. This could include a new recipe you tried, a fascinating article, or a unique cloud formation you photographed. Having this journal ensures you always have fresh, personal anecdotes to share that can lead to more engaging discussions about hobbies, the weather, or current events. |
