“Let Them” and “Let Me”: Mel Robins’s Way to Release Control

Two women standing back to back, representing the "Let Them and Let Me" theory

How do you react to a person’s comment that just isn’t worth the battle? What if there were a way you could win the battle without even fighting it? To escape the trap of trying to control what other people do and say, Mel Robbins contends you have to acknowledge that you can’t manage everyone else’s opinions, judgments, and feelings and redirect your energy and focus to what you can control. She explains that to do that, you can use two simple phrases: “Let Them” and “Let Me.” Discover how to use these phrases in everyday situations.

The Key to Accepting Reality With the Let Them Theory

A street sign in a city that reads "REALITY" telling people to accept reality

Do you have trouble accepting reality? How can you stop influencing what other people say or do? Underlying the Let Them Theory is the idea that you have to accept reality as it is, without judging it, without resisting it, and without wanting to change it into something that it’s not. Mel Robbins points out that your time and energy are precious resources that you need to invest wisely. Keep reading to learn how to invest yourself wisely by accepting the way things are.

How to Not Care About What Others Think (Mel Robbins)

A woman on the street, not caring what other people think of her

Do you often care about what other people think about you? How can you stop wasting time on other people’s opinions? Mel Robbins’s Let Them Theory works when it’s what other people think and say, rather than what they do, that stresses you out. You can’t change what people say, but you can change how you react to them. Continue reading to learn how to not care about what others think so you can finally feel free.

How to Be Emotionally Mature: Don’t React Like a Child

An older woman who knows how to be emotionally mature

Do you want to be more emotionally mature? Do you worry about other people’s emotional reactions to you? In the same way managing other people’s negative opinions isn’t your responsibility, it’s also not your responsibility to manage other people’s emotional reactions, says Mel Robbins in her book The Let Them Theory. While they might act emotionally immature, there’s a chance you might also be the one who needs to manage your emotions better. Learn how to be emotionally mature so you can let go of how other people react to you.

What Is the Boomerang Effect and How Can You Avoid It?

Two people suffering from the boomerang effect, crossing their arms and stubbornly refusing to change

What is the boomerang effect in psychology? Why do people do the opposite of what you want them to do? The boomerang effect is when you push for something to happen, only for the opposite to take place. Mel Robbins describes something similar to the boomerang effect in her book, The Let Them Theory, in discussing the need for a supportive environment to encourage changes in people. Let’s look at the boomerang effect in action.

How to Use the Let Them Theory: The 2-Step Process

A person walking away using the Let Them Theory against a pink background

Do you know what the Let Them Theory is? How can you apply the theory in all areas of your life? Having a deep need to control is an exercise in futility that only makes us frustrated and anxious and sets us up for conflict with the people in our lives. Mel Robbins contends that we need to shift our mindsets so we can stop wasting energy trying to control other people by using the Let Them Theory. To learn how to use the Let Them Theory, read below for the two-step process.

The Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud: Book Overview

A woman with a ponytail reading a red book with an impressionistic cityscape in the background

What do dreams reveal about our unconscious desires? How can understanding your dreams lead to deeper self-awareness? In The Interpretation of Dreams, Sigmund Freud writes that dreams express our repressed wishes and desires. He presents a layered model of the mind where unconscious thoughts emerge during sleep when our mental “censor” relaxes. Dreams use various tactics to disguise these hidden wishes. Continue reading for an overview of this classic work.

The 3 Layers of the Mind: Freud’s Theory Explained

Drawing of a person's head split with one whole and two halves (left and right) illustrates three layers of the mind

How does your mind store information you can’t currently recall? What happens to thoughts that are too disturbing for you to face directly? In his book The Interpretation of Dreams, Sigmund Freud describes three layers of the mind: the conscious, preconscious, and unconscious. These layers differ based on how easily you can access the thoughts within them—from your immediate awareness to deeply hidden feelings. Read more to learn how these mental layers shape your daily experiences and influence behaviors in ways you might not even realize.

Freud’s Theory of Mind (The Interpretation of Dreams)

Sigmund Freud’s theory of mind is illustrated by a sepia photograph of the psychologist

What’s the true driving force behind all of our thoughts and actions? How do our unconscious desires affect our everyday lives, even when we’re not aware of them? In his book The Interpretation of Dreams, Sigmund Freud writes that wishes form the foundation of all mental activity. Freud’s theory of mind explores how these wishes operate across three distinct layers of consciousness and why some desires become repressed. Read on to discover how your unconscious mind influences your behavior and why the thoughts you’re actively pushing away might still be shaping your mental health.

Freud: Dream Work Turns Unconscious Thoughts Into Dreams

A sleeping woman surrounded by clouds illustrates dream work

Do you wonder what your dreams really mean? How does your mind transform raw unconscious desires into the strange narratives and symbols you remember when you wake up? In The Interpretation of Dreams, Sigmund Freud writes that our minds try to disguise our hidden wishes. According to Freud, dream work is a process that helps transform deep unconscious material into the dreams we experience. Read more to discover how you might uncover the hidden meanings behind your dreams.