This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man" by Steve Harvey. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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Do you want to assess your relationship? Do you struggle to navigate love, career, and family? Do you want to figure out whether he is the right guy for you?
Steve Harvey says that women don’t understand men. He wrote his book to give women insight into how men think so they can better navigate relationships. These discussion questions based on Steve Harvey’s Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man book can help you learn how to put these strategies in place.
Keep reading for advice from Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, discussion questions, and tips.
Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man Exercises
Steve Harvey never intended to write a relationship book. He’s a comedian and his main concern was finding ways to amuse people. But his jokes often centered around the everyday mishaps of life, love, and family, and his truthful comedy was appreciated by his audience. Eventually, he got his own radio show, and his path to becoming a relationship guru started and he wrote the Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man book.
The book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is for every woman, whether single, dating, or married. He wants you to use it to replace the myths and bad advice you’ve been given from your mothers, friends, and magazines about how to change a man. The truth is there are things about men that will never change, but when you understand what those things are and why they’re fixed, you can outmaneuver men and end their games before they begin.
Here are some Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man discussion questions.
Gain Clarity on Your Past Relationships
Now that you know how a man shows love, what does this make you think about your past relationships?
- Think about a long-term relationship that ended in the past. In what ways did your man make you feel loved?
- How did he profess, protect, and provide? If so, how did those actions make you feel or think about your relationship?
- How do you view your man’s behavior differently now that you understand how they show love?
Who Are You in Relationships?
It’s easy to believe you’re doing everything right in a relationship and be confused when it ends. But are you sure you were doing the right things for your man?
- What are some ways you try to show love in your relationships?
- Do you believe your actions were successful in helping your past partners feel loved based on the information in this chapter? Why or why not?
- What are some ways you could have expressed love more effectively in your past relationships?
- How will you approach showing love to a partner in the future that differs from your past behavior?
Don’t Date the Wrong Man Ever Again
We have all been with the wrong partner. Either we were blinded by love or didn’t recognize the signs that expressed how they really felt about us.
- Describe a time when you realized your partner wasn’t as committed to your relationship as you thought?
- What signs made you believe they were serious about the relationship?
- What signs do you now realize were red flags about how they really felt?
- How will you approach starting a relationship now that you understand how men approach women and commitment?
Learn What Your Actions Say About You
With so much dating advice in the world, it’s hard to know what to do to attract the right kind of man. You can make sure you get the relationship you want by being the woman you want to be.
- What is your first instinct when a man approaches you, and how do you behave?
- Do you believe that behavior conveys that you’re a sports fish or a keeper? Why?
- What kind of woman do you want men to see you as, and what actions can you take to ensure they see you that way?
- How have your past behaviors given men the right or wrong impression about you?
Set Your Standards for Your Life
It’s not easy to be clear about what you need from a man when you’re still getting to know him. But setting standards can save you a world of trouble down the road with the wrong man.
- Have you ever taken the initiative to set standards upfront in your relationship? Why or why not?
- What is important to you in a good relationship? What standards do you need to be happy? Be specific.
- Take two of your standards. How might you convey those upfront when you become interested in someone?
- What are your deal breakers? What behaviors will make you end a relationship, and how can you convey those?
Is Sex Important?
Waiting to have sex with someone new can feel like torture, and you may not think it’s worth it. The decision comes down to the importance you place on sex in relationships.
- Think of a time you made a man wait to sleep with you. Why did you make him wait?
- Did you notice anything different about this relationship than those with men you didn’t wait to sleep with? What was different? Or what was the same?
- Is there a relationship from your past you wish you had handled differently regarding sex? Describe the circumstances and the problems you believe were created by early sex.
- Do you have the capacity to wait three months for sex? Why or why not?
- How will you approach asking a man to wait for sex in the future?
Make Your Man Commit
Most women want to wear the white dress and promise their love to someone in front of their family and friends. If this is you, how can you make this happen?
- Have you ever been married or engaged? If yes, what led to your man proposing? If not and you’ve been in committed relationships, why have you never gotten to that next step?
- Are you comfortable being upfront about your desire to get married? Why or why not?
- What will you say to your current man or future man to convey your plans for marriage?
What’s Your Balance Between Work and Love?
Women are often expected to put their dreams on hold for a man, but your success is nothing to be ashamed of.
- Think of a recent time when your job came into conflict with your relationship. Describe the scenario.
- How did you manage the situation, and do you have any regrets about the choices you made?
- Are you willing to adjust your career to be with the man you love? Why or why not?
- Do you believe pursuing your dreams will create problems for future partnerships? How will you manage any issues that arise?
Are You Ready for Marriage?
Wanting to be married and being a good life partner are two different things. How can you be sure you’re ready?
- Do you like things to be a particular way or are you open to change and compromise? Explain your preference.
- What are a few things you envision in a successful marriage, and why are they important?
- How can you communicate those things to your man, and how will you react if his vision differs?
- Name one time you and your current or past man had a major argument. What did you learn about your communication styles? How were they compatible or conflicting?
- What’s the most important question you need to ask yourself and your man before you tie the knot?
Find the Relationship You Want
We all want someone to love, but finding the right relationship sometimes feels as likely as winning the lottery.
- How has Steve’s advice and guidance helped change how you think about men and how to approach them?
- What will you do differently in the future to attract and keep the right man?
- What are some mistakes you didn’t know you were making with men?
- What are your three priorities you need to have figured out before you can be serious about someone else?
- Do you feel confident that you can find and keep love? Why or why not?
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Here's what you'll find in our full Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man summary :
- How to navigate the adult dating scene
- What men need, how they think, and how they behave when it comes to relationships
- How women can gain an advantage and find the right man to fulfill their desires
