This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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In Daring Greatly, Brené Brown suggests that what holds us back from living a wholehearted life is the belief that vulnerability is a weakness. The following Daring Greatly book club questions will help you explore the concept of wholeheartedness by reflecting on your own fear of vulnerability.
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Daring Greatly Book Club Questions
Most of us want wholehearted, meaningful lives. What stops us? In Daring Greatly, Brené Brown suggests that what holds us back the most is the widespread belief that vulnerability is a weakness. If you can embrace your vulnerability, you’ll find that it’s actually your greatest strength. The following Daring Greatly book club questions will help you explore these ideas by reflecting on vulnerability in the context of your life.
Exercise: Identify Your “Never Enough” Thoughts
Reflect on the obstacles keeping you from believing in your own inherent worth and the effect these obstacles have on your life.
Write down some of your “Never Enough” thoughts. Where in your life do you feel like you aren’t enough? Examples might be “I never feel successful enough” or “I never feel smart enough.”
Why do you feel this way? Do you compare yourself to others or compare your life to the “ideal” lives portrayed in the media?
How do your “never enough” thoughts affect your behavior? (For example, do you find yourself trying to hide the parts of you that feel inadequate?Perhaps creating an overblown expression of yourself on social media, or putting a persona on in the workplace?)
How do these behaviors affect how you feel about yourself?
What kinds of experiences or activities help you feel most meaningfully connected? What is one new experience you can engage in today that will support your belief that you’re already “enough,” just as you are?
Exercise: Build Shame Resilience
Identify a recent experience in your life where you felt shame and the impact it had on you.
Describe your experience of it. How did it feel in your body? What messages did it communicate to you about yourself?
Now, let’s take a look at this experience again, but with critical awareness. Are the shame messages rational or realistic? Is there a gap between how you want to be seen, and what you think others expect of you?
Considering this experience further, did you feel willing to engage with others about it? How did you think others might see you if you were to share your shame?
Exercise: Remove the Armor
Think about your own Vulnerability Arsenal, and how you use it to protect yourself.
Where do the methods of Foreboding Joy, Perfectionism, or Numbing show up in your life?
Now imagine you have the power to make a different choice when these defense mechanisms show up. What can you do to create a healthy shift or change that demonstrates worthiness and/or vulnerability?
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Like what you just read? Read the rest of the world's best book summary and analysis of Brené Brown's "Daring Greatly" at Shortform .
Here's what you'll find in our full Daring Greatly summary :
- What it means to live Wholeheartedly
- The 3 things you need to feel happy and healthy
- How scarcity and shame prevent you from achieving a Wholehearted life
