What’s an Autism-friendly life like? How can you build an environment and community that truly supports your needs?
In Unmasking Autism, Devon Price explores practical strategies for authentic living as an Autistic person. From customizing your space to finding supportive communities, Price offers a roadmap for creating a life that honors your unique neurotype.
Keep reading to discover how to live with autism in ways that celebrate who you are rather than trying to fit into neurotypical expectations.
How to Live With Autism
Price explains that a significant part of unmasking is cultivating a life that supports you and your Autism. He shares practical advice on how to live with autism, which includes making changes to your environment, following an atypical work schedule, being open about your Autism, and seeking out and engaging with people and communities who support you.
#1: Change Your Environment
Price recommends that you create living and working spaces that cater to your Autistic sensory needs and preferences. Many Autistic people struggle with things like clutter, ambient noise, strong odors, and certain textures. To prevent these sensory issues from interfering with your daily life, adjust your environment so they’re no longer an issue. If you can’t stand clutter, try a more minimalist setup to your home. If ambient noise bothers you, consider investing in noise-canceling headphones or sound-proofing your home or office.
On the other hand, if you need a lot of sensory stimulation in your environment, try putting up bright, colorful posters or wallpaper, buying a white noise machine or playing music throughout the day, or collecting scented items like candles and incense.
(Shortform note: While Price’s tips work well for your home or office space, you may not always be in control of the environments you have to spend time in. It may be especially difficult to cope in public spaces, which are often crowded, loud, bright, and generally tiresome. To make these spaces easier for yourself, consider these tips: Make sure you get enough rest before a major outing so you’ll have more energy to handle all the sensory input. When you notice yourself becoming overwhelmed, find a way to remove yourself to a quiet, private space. Shop during less-busy hours and at less-busy stores. Wear earplugs or sunglasses to reduce sensory input. These and other techniques can make it easier to get through the requirements of daily life.)
#2: Re-Balance Work and Rest
Price also explains that Autistic people often have different relationships with time and productivity compared to allistic people. Many Autistics work best in intense bursts of hyperfocus followed by periods of rest rather than trying to be moderately productive for eight hours a day. They also tend to need more sleep than allistic people due to the energy drain of existing in a world not built for them, and they often suffer from sleep disturbances. For these and other reasons, many Autistic people can’t maintain a traditional 9-to-5, 40-hour work week without damaging their health (and Price notes that this schedule is often harmful for neurotypical people as well).
To deal with these difficulties, Price recommends finding a job and work schedule that fits your natural rhythms and rest needs through methods like flexible work arrangements, self-employment, or structuring your day around peak productivity periods. However, he acknowledges that this isn’t possible for everyone due to the need for income. Additionally, you’ll need to be willing to say “no” to certain projects or opportunities, potentially coming back to them later rather than forcing yourself through them because you feel you’re expected to.
| Applying “Spoon” Theory to Autism Due to these differences and the disconnect between Autistic brains and societal expectations, it can be difficult to identify how best to use the limited energy you have. To make this process easier, consider the “spoon” theory of disability: According to this theory, each “spoon” represents a unit of energy needed for daily living. Some activities require more spoons than others—for example, getting out of bed may require one spoon, but an hour of work or school may require three. While most people wake up each day with unlimited spoons, disabled people have a limited number of spoons each day, and this number varies depending on their total spoon use the day before, sleep, mood, and other factors. Autism advocates have adapted this theory to apply more specifically to Autism: In Autistic spoon theory, you also have different types of spoons that apply to different areas of functioning. So even if you have a total of, say, 30 spoons for the day, you may only have five spoons for executive functioning, five for socializing, five for managing sensory input, and so on. If you run out of spoons for executive functioning, you can’t take spoons from another area to compensate. This theory can help you better understand why you might have the energy to exercise for an hour but can’t work up the stamina to clean your house: These don’t just require different amounts of energy, but different types entirely. To use spoon theory to balance your work and rest, consider how many and what type of spoons your different activities require, and how many you typically recover from sleeping. Try to find employment that allows you to pace your workday according to your spoons, and when you simply don’t have the spoons to do something someone’s asking of you, be ready to say “no.” |
#3: Be Open About Your Autism
Price explains that the reason we feel the need to mask is because it’s not socially acceptable to seem Autistic. Many people unconsciously view Autistic traits as weird or creepy and tend to judge people for them immediately. However, when the person you’re interacting with knows you’re Autistic, they tend to be less judgmental and more understanding and welcoming. To combat the social stigma against Autism and promote this more accepting attitude, Price recommends being very open about your Autism and presenting yourself to the world authentically (as much as you’re comfortable doing so).
Price emphasizes that unmasking is a process that involves learning to disappoint others, express disagreement, and ask for accommodations without shame or apology. He lists some specific ways you can do this, including openly using assistive devices, stimming in public, dressing in ways that prioritize sensory comfort over social norms, and practicing assertiveness in social situations. Additionally, don’t feel like you need to hide the ways you make your life easier as an Autistic person. If you have to look up and study maps of new places before you visit them, script out social interactions, or use unusual self-reward systems to get things done, explain these to your friends and loved ones to help them better understand and support you.
(Shortform note: Research supports Price’s assertion that being open about your Autism combats social stigma. One study showed that reducing biases against Autism helps both Autistic and allistic people view Autism more positively. Others show that spending time with an Autistic person results in more positive attitudes toward those with the disorder. Notably, the quality of time spent with an Autistic person was a more impactful factor than the quantity of time, further supporting Price’s advice to be authentically Autistic around others. Additionally, knowing that a person is Autistic is also associated with more positive attitudes toward them and their needs, which shows the benefit of explaining your accommodations to your loved ones.)
#4: Seek Out Community
Price emphasizes the importance of finding community with other Autistic and neurodivergent people. He recommends seeking out individuals who are genuinely supportive and understanding of Autistic needs and traits. Many Autistic people have insecure attachment styles due to past experiences of rejection and misunderstanding. (Attachment styles are the ways we relate to others, based on our early experiences with caregivers.) By intentionally seeking out and nurturing relationships with accepting individuals, Autistic people can develop more secure attachments and improve their overall well-being.
(Shortform note: The attachment styles Price describes derive from attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth in the 20th century. While a caregiver’s interactions with an Autistic child can determine or affect their attachment style, it’s important to acknowledge that parenting at an early age can’t cause Autism. While this may seem obvious now, a prevailing belief in the mid-1900s was that Autism was caused by a lack of affection and attention in infancy—known as “refrigerator parenting.” This misconception resulted in a great deal of blame and shame toward parents of Autistic children for decades until the theory was debunked by Autism researcher Bernard Rimland.)
Many niche interest communities also have a high proportion of Autistic members and organizers, explains Price. Communities like fandoms, conventions, and kink communities appeal to Autistic people because they offer a sense of inclusion and acceptance. They also often have clear rules for how to interact with other members, which can reduce social anxiety and uncertainty in social situations. Groups organized by Autistic people specifically often have sensory accommodations as well, providing more comfortable and accessible environments for Autistic individuals to socialize and express themselves
(Shortform note: While niche communities can be highly beneficial to Autistic people, some may find it difficult to get involved. To join and engage with such communities, consider ways you can share your passion with others, such as creating a YouTube channel, buying merchandise, or making and sharing fanart. If you’re looking for spaces dedicated specifically to Autistic people, organizations such as the Association for Autism and Neurodiversity hold events and conferences designed for Autistic attendees. Parents looking for a dedicated Autistic experience for their children could consider programs like Camp Akeela, which provides children with choice-based activities, a high counselor-camper ratio, and tailored accommodations.)
