What creates depth and significance in our lives beyond simple pleasure? How can we cultivate a stronger sense of purpose and connection to something larger than ourselves?
Finding meaning in life enhances our well-being, strengthens our resilience, and helps us face life’s challenges with greater acceptance. Research shows that people who discover their purpose experience improved mental health, stronger self-esteem, and a more positive outlook on mortality.
Continue reading for Jodi Wellman’s advice on how to create meaning in life from her book You Only Die Once.
Creating Meaning in Life
According to Wellman, meaning is what provides our lives with depth and significance. She argues that it’s the necessary balance to a life filled solely with pleasure (or vitality). It offers a sense of direction and purpose and helps us recognize that our lives are inherently valuable and connected with something larger than ourselves. In her book, she discusses the importance of this sense of meaning and shares advice on how to create meaning in life.
(Shortform note: In her discussion of meaning, Wellman references Viktor Frankl’s work in Man’s Search for Meaning. While Wellman considers meaning as one essential component of a fulfilling life, Frankl views it as the cornerstone of human existence. Based on his experiences in Auschwitz, a Nazi concentration camp, Frankl argues that finding meaning is key to achieving well-being and resilience, especially during times of suffering. His therapeutic approach, known as logotherapy, focuses on discovering purpose through work, relationships, and even in the face of adversity.)
Wellman emphasizes that research consistently highlights the importance of having meaning in life. A sense of meaning improves well-being, life satisfaction, mental and physical health, resilience, and self-esteem, while its absence is linked to poor well-being and higher risk of depression. Notably, those with a strong sense of purpose also typically have a more accepting view of death and less existential dread.
| How to Measure Meaning How do researchers quantitatively measure something as subjective and nuanced as the sense of meaning in an individual’s life? They use specialized psychological tools and scales designed to quantify life meaning and purpose as well as their impact on well-being, health, and other outcomes. These measurement approaches involve prompting people to reflect on aspects of their personal fulfillment, sense of purpose, and engagement with meaningful life activities. The responses are then analyzed to provide a measurable insight into the individual’s level of life meaning. Some of the scales used to measure life meaning and purpose include: Purpose in Life (PIL) test: A 20-item self-report scale that assesses how much a person perceives their life to be meaningful and purposeful. The PIL was one of the first questionnaires developed to measure life meaning. Meaning and Purpose Scales (MAPS): A short assessment tool that measures two key dimensions of meaning in life: meaningfulness and crisis of meaning. It also evaluates five sources of purpose. Meaning in Life Questionnaire (MLQ)): A 10-item questionnaire that assesses two core dimensions of meaning in life: the presence of meaning and the search for meaning. The MLQ has been translated into over two dozen languages. |
How to Create Meaning in Life
Wellman suggests ways to create meaning in your life.
1) Reflect on your impact. Wellman explains that meaning emerges from connecting actions to their broader outcomes, whether through work or personal relationships. Even small daily tasks create ripples beyond one’s immediate environment, contributing to the larger world.
One way to deepen impact is by giving back to others. Wellman suggests that putting aside self-interest to support others brings meaning to life. Engaging in volunteering and random acts of kindness not only boosts personal well-being but also strengthens community bonds. Incorporating small acts of generosity into daily routines can help you cultivate a sense of purpose and connection.
(Shortform note: This perspective aligns with Fritjof Capra’s concept of “the web of life,” which describes the interconnected system linking all living things. In The Web of Life, Capra explores how our actions affect both ecological and social networks. Acts of service not only enhance individual relationships but also reinforce the entire interconnected web. This systems view illustrates how small contributions can influence the broader network, impacting both environmental and social spheres.)
2) Be a part of a community. Wellman highlights that feeling like we’re part of a community reassures us that we are valued. She thus recommends fostering connections that affirm your place in the world and nurture a positive sense of belonging.
(Shortform note: Peter Block, author of Community, argues that traditional approaches to community development often concentrate on fixing problems or addressing deficits instead of fostering connections. He emphasizes the need to shift from problem-solving and advice-giving to encouraging ownership, accountability, and participation among community members. Block highlights that a healthy community is based on three key factors: the gifts, generosity, and accountability of its citizens. Focusing on people’s gifts and strengths rather than deficiencies, and cultivating an environment of possibility and generosity—rather than one dominated by problem-solving and fear—builds strong communities.)
Wellman says you might find this community, or sense of belonging, in a spiritual practice. For some, spirituality, whether through organized religion or a personal connection to a larger existence, can be a profound source of meaning. Wellman notes that this connection can provide coherence and comfort, leading to a deeper understanding of your purpose. If you don’t have a spiritual practice, consider exploring faith traditions or other spiritual practices that resonate with you.
| The Evolving Landscape of Religion and Spirituality in America Over the past century, the religious landscape in the United States has undergone significant changes. The most notable trend has been a decline in traditional religious affiliation and participation, especially since the 1990s. The percentage of Americans identifying as Christian has fallen dramatically, with projections suggesting a potential drop from 64% in 2020 to between 35-54% by 2070. Alongside this decline, there has been a marked increase in those who identify as religiously unaffiliated, often referred to as “nones.” This group, which includes atheists, agnostics, and those describing their religious identity as “nothing in particular,” is expected to grow from 30% of the US population in 2020 to between 34-52% by 2070. Despite the decline in traditional religious participation, there has been a notable shift toward spirituality. As of 2023, 70% of US adults describe themselves as spiritual in some way, with 22% identifying as “spiritual but not religious.” This indicates a move away from organized religion toward more personal forms of spirituality. The concept of spirituality has evolved and diversified, often incorporating elements from various traditions and focusing on personal growth, inner connection, and alternative practices like meditation and yoga. |
3) Create a legacy. Wellman describes this as an enduring contribution that extends beyond your lifetime and that will benefit future generations. This might be art or music you create, a business you start, or simply the work of being a good parent or mentor. Think about the impact you want to leave on the world and how you can actively work toward that legacy.
(Shortform note: One way to leave a legacy is through estate planning, which can be more than simply distributing assets after your death; it can also be a powerful tool for transmitting values, supporting causes, and making a lasting impact on future generations. However, fewer than half of American adults have a will or living trust in place. This lack of preparation can lead to unintended consequences and missed opportunities for leaving a meaningful legacy.)
4) Embrace suffering. Wellman explains that pain and struggle are often deeply connected to meaning because they often serve as catalysts for growth and self-discovery. Facing challenges and navigating suffering push you beyond your limits, build resilience, and help clarify your priorities, molding you into a more authentic version of yourself.
(Shortform note: Like Wellman, Ryan Holiday explores how our response to challenges can convert apparent setbacks into growth opportunities. In The Obstacle Is the Way, Holiday builds on Stoic philosophy, which teaches that we often distort reality by labeling events as either “good” or “bad.” The Stoics instead advocate for viewing circumstances objectively, focusing solely on the facts. Holiday argues that by shifting how we interpret and respond to obstacles, we achieve two key benefits: We reduce the unnecessary suffering that comes from subjective judgments, and we transform difficulties into sources of resilience and clearer perspective.)
