Why is a coaching mindset important? What are fundamental coaching traits?
In order to attract clients and build your coaching business, you must adopt the mindset of a successful coach, Steve Chandler and Rich Litvin explain. This mindset comprises numerous traits, including self-assuredness, authenticity, focus, courage, and authority.
Let’s explore what each trait looks like in the coaching context.
Trait #1: Self-Assuredness
The first trait of a coaching mindset is self-assuredness. The authors explain that good coaches are self-assured and have high regard for themselves. The service you’re providing to your clients is the experience of interacting with you, so you have to show them that this experience is unique, life-changing, and worth their time and money. No one’s going to pay a high price to be coached by someone who doesn’t believe in themself.
To cultivate self-assuredness, keep track of all the professional compliments you receive. Save them in a specific place, such as a folder on your computer desktop, and whenever you’re feeling down on yourself, read through those compliments to boost your confidence.
(Shortform note: While self-assuredness can help convey that your coaching services are valuable, it may have some drawbacks if it becomes excessive: An overemphasis on self-assuredness might inadvertently lead you to neglect the development of other crucial coaching skills, such as empathy and mental flexibility, which are essential for building strong client relationships. And while the authors’ advice to keep track of your professional compliments can boost your self-esteem, disproportionate focus on positive feedback could lead to a dependency on external validation, which may hinder your ability to accept and learn from constructive criticism.)
Trait #2: Authenticity
Good coaches are true to themselves, explain the authors. Clients need to see from their first interaction with you that you offer them something no one else offers: you. This means you should avoid imitating other coaches and do what you think is best and most in line with who you are. Being true to yourself will make your job more enjoyable, allow you to attract the right clients, and make your clients willing to pay more for the experience of working with you.
(Shortform note: Psychological research supports the authors’ emphasis on the importance of authenticity. Research on person-centered therapy, which emphasizes genuineness in the therapeutic relationship, has demonstrated that authenticity can enhance the effectiveness of helping relationships—and while coaching is different from therapy, both professions center around positive self-change. Showing people your authentic self from the beginning will enhance your connection with others and help you be more successful in attracting and retaining clients.)
Trait #3: Focus
Good coaches stay focused on their purpose, which is to help others. Avoid taking on unnecessary work or occupying yourself with distracting tasks that don’t provide you with income. According to the authors, one reason many coaches get distracted is because they’re trying too hard to please others. This not only distracts you from actually helping people, but can also cause clients to lose respect for you as they see you spreading yourself too thin—something you would explicitly coach them not to do.
(Shortform note: The importance of focus for coaches relates to the concept of deep work, as explored in Cal Newport’s book Deep Work. Newport argues that the ability to focus without distraction on cognitively demanding tasks is becoming increasingly rare and valuable in our hyper-connected world. For coaches, developing this skill allows them to give undivided attention to their clients, leading to more insightful observations and effective guidance. Newport suggests strategies such as scheduling focused work periods, minimizing distractions, and practicing concentration to improve one’s ability to engage in deep work.)
Trait #4: Courage
The authors explain that good coaches are willing to make courageous, daring recommendations that push clients out of their comfort zone. You may find yourself tempted to just listen to and sympathize with your client’s struggles, but that’s not helpful to them. People seek out coaching to make powerful improvements to their lives and careers—not to find someone to merely commiserate with about their current situation.
(Shortform note: Educational psychology supports the authors’ advice to make recommendations that push clients out of their comfort zone. The concept of the “zone of proximal development,” introduced by psychologist Lev Vygotsky, suggests that optimal learning and growth occur when individuals are challenged just beyond their current abilities. Additionally, the principle of “productive discomfort” in psychology posits that moderate levels of stress or challenge can increase motivation, supporting the authors’ assertion that meaningful challenges are more beneficial than mere sympathy or commiseration.)
Courageous coaches are those who can handle the inherent discomfort of challenging their clients. This ability allows them to challenge their clients meaningfully. (Shortform note: The reason challenging people can be so uncomfortable is because our egos can make us take such challenges personally. This is especially true when one’s ego is overestimated, delicate, defensive, or attached to their identity. For example, if you tell someone, “You’re not hands-on enough with your leadership,” they might interpret that to mean they’re a bad leader, when in fact you’re just encouraging them to take on a more active role. A good coach should help their clients view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than personal attacks.)
Trait #5: Authority
Finally, the authors explain that good coaches are those whom clients see as strong authorities. Clients need to feel like you’re someone worth listening to and that you know what you’re talking about. This is particularly important when you’re guiding your potential client to commit to working with you—confident guidance lets them know what they can expect from you in future sessions.
(Shortform note: Many of the authors’ ideas align with the persuasive principles outlined in Robert Cialdini’s Influence. The concept of authority in coaching relates to his Authority Principle. Cialdini explains that people are more likely to follow the lead of those they perceive as credible experts. For coaches, establishing authority could involve demonstrating expertise, showing a track record of success, and consistently delivering value to clients. By focusing on building genuine expertise and communicating it effectively, you can enhance your perceived authority, making clients more receptive to your guidance and more likely to commit to the coaching process.)
