What’s holding you back from reaching your full potential? What kind of attitude do you need to achieve greater success?
According to Ed Mylett, mindset makes a big difference. In his book The Power of One More, he offers practical strategies to break free from limiting beliefs and unlock your capabilities. He focuses on four areas: dreaming bigger, managing emotions, asking better questions, and building confidence.
Keep reading to discover how you can reprogram your mind for success and push beyond self-imposed limitations.
Ed Mylett on Mindset
According to Ed Mylett, mindset is a key factor in the “one more” lifestyle. Specifically, you need a mindset that empowers you instead of limits you.
From a young age, you may have developed limiting beliefs about yourself and your abilities from messages you absorbed from family, friends, and society. For instance, if your parents often called you shy, you might struggle to see yourself as a confident leader later in life. Mylett explains that these beliefs shape what you think you can achieve and can hold you back from success. If you believe you can only reach a certain level of success, you’ll subconsciously limit yourself, thinking and acting in ways that keep you at that level.
(Shortform note: We’re sometimes unaware of the limiting beliefs that hold us back, so it can be helpful to consider some common ones. In The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks describes four false beliefs that limit our success and happiness: 1) feeling innately flawed and undeserving of success, 2) fearing we’ll betray our roots if we succeed, 3) believing that our success hurts others, and 4) fearing that great success always ends badly. Recognizing these hidden barriers is the first step to overcoming limiting beliefs as Mylett recommends.)
To break free from these limiting beliefs, Mylett suggests you do four things: Focus on your dreams, attract positive emotions, ask yourself empowering questions, and build self-confidence. Let’s explore each in detail.
Reignite Your Ability to Dream
First, Mylett suggests you overcome your self-imposed limitations by learning to dream big again. He writes that as children, we let our imaginations run wild, believing anything was possible. But as we become adults, we often lose this ability to dream without limits. Instead, we focus more on past experiences—such as disappointments and failures—that discourage rather than empower us. This can prevent us from seeing and seizing opportunities for success.
(Shortform note: One study suggests that the bigger kids dream, the more they achieve later in life. In fact, the size of dreams may affect our success more than our IQ or family background. The study notes that while unrealistic teenage aspirations may lead to some disappointment in early adulthood, the long-term benefits of dreaming big outweigh the temporary disappointment. This is why parents and teachers are encouraged to support children’s ambitions rather than put limitations on them. If they do end up disappointed, you can support them by helping them redirect their ambitions.)
Mylett writes that to push past the boundaries you’ve subconsciously set for yourself as an adult and dream big again, you must let go of the past. Your mind can only hold a limited number of thoughts at a time, so you must consciously release the ones that tie you to the past. Recognize that your past experiences have shaped who you are. Then, visualize your mind emptying any stale, limiting thoughts to make space for new, empowering ones.
(Shortform note: In The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale suggests you let go of the past as part of a daily ritual. At the end of each day, consciously release any negative thoughts or experiences from the day. For example, you could place your hand on the doorframe of your office and exhale the day’s negative energy into the frame, leaving it behind as you walk away. By adopting such a ritual, you can make a habit of releasing past negativity, helping you integrate Mylett’s advice into your long-term mindset.)
Cultivate Positive Emotions
According to Mylett, another way to improve your mindset is to intentionally cultivate positive emotions instead of negative ones. While it’s normal and healthy to feel both negative and positive emotions, negative emotions, if left unchecked, can become too common in your life. Since negative emotions rarely motivate you to work on your goals or improve your life, they hold you back from going the extra mile. For example, if you constantly feel disappointed in yourself, you might avoid taking risks or trying new things, which might limit your motivation to push yourself further.
(Shortform note: One reason negative emotions can easily dominate our lives is because happiness doesn’t come naturally to humans. In The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris explains that humans aren’t biologically hardwired to be happy. Instead, we’re hardwired to be on the lookout for threats, worry about fitting in with others, and accumulate as much wealth, status, and happiness as possible. While these traits served our primitive ancestors, today, we’re left with many worries and concerns that don’t actually contribute to our survival. Because discomfort is our most natural state, it’s important to try and cultivate positive emotions when we can.)
Mylett highlights a misconception many people have: that external achievements create more positive emotions. He argues it’s better to identify the emotions you want to feel and cultivate them regardless of whether your external circumstances are good or bad. For example, if you want to feel more joyful, make a daily practice of meditating on simple pleasures and expressing gratitude. Your emotions can either support you or hold you back, so by cultivating positive emotions, you put yourself in a better mental state to go the extra mile and achieve your goals.
(Shortform note: Many experts echo the benefits of generating genuine positive emotions, but they argue that positivity shouldn’t be forced. Trying to be positive at all times—to the point where you’re denying or suppressing negative emotions—is known as “toxic positivity.” An example of this is telling yourself: “I shouldn’t be unhappy because other people have it much worse than me” when you’re going through a difficult time. This self-talk just makes you feel guilty or shameful. So, be sure to allow space for negative emotions as you intentionally cultivate positive ones.)
Ask Empowering Questions
Mylett contends that in addition to dreaming big and cultivating positive emotions, asking yourself more empowering questions can improve your mindset. The questions you ask yourself shape your perspective, either motivating you or discouraging you. For example, many people ask themselves negative questions that foster fear and doubt—like, “What if I embarrass myself at the presentation tomorrow?”
Mylett recommends replacing these negative questions with ones that push you to think positively and move you toward your desired outcome. Instead of thinking, “What if I embarrass myself?” ask, “What’s one small thing I can do to be better prepared for tomorrow?” These empowering questions can shift your outlook; instead of seeing a challenge as a threat, you may see it as a way to grow and improve.
| Start and End Each Day With Empowering Questions In Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins takes Mylett’s idea of asking empowering questions a step further, suggesting you make it a habit you do each morning and night. Each morning, ask yourself a set of questions to get you thinking positively, such as “What makes me happy?” and “What am I grateful for?” At night, end with reflection questions like “What have I learned today?” and “How can my experiences today improve my future?” By consistently asking yourself these questions, you train your brain to look for the good in life and create a positive mindset that can carry you through challenges. |
Raise Your Self-Confidence
Finally, Mylett says that raising your self-confidence can help you go the extra mile. He explains that self-confidence is the trust you have in your abilities, and it allows you to act on the things you want to do. For example, say you want to learn to ride a motorcycle. If you’re confident that you can learn to ride, you’ll take steps toward that goal, but if you lack confidence, you’ll hesitate to sign up for courses.
(Shortform note: In The Confidence Code, Katty Kay and Claire Shipman write that women tend to struggle more with confidence than men because of several biological and environmental factors. For example, women tend to have more connections between their brain’s emotional and reasoning centers, which can lead to greater rumination and anxiety. Also, girls are often discouraged from the kind of risk-taking and failure that builds confidence from a young age: While boys are encouraged to roughhouse and compete, girls are rewarded for being “good.” However, the authors note that confidence isn’t a fixed trait but a skill you can build with various techniques, regardless of gender.)
Mylett says that the opposite of self-confidence is self-sabotage, which can prevent you from going the extra mile and cause you to procrastinate or shrink away from your goals. For example, if you don’t believe in yourself, you might make excuses or talk yourself out of opportunities because you don’t think you can succeed.
To build self-confidence and overcome self-sabotage, Mylett recommends you consistently keep your word to yourself, even with small commitments. Each time you do what you say you’ll do, like sticking to a new habit, you create evidence that you can be relied on. By consistently showing up for yourself, you’ll develop trust that you can go the extra mile in whatever you choose to do.
(Shortform note: Why do we sabotage our own success, even when we know it’s not good for us? According to psychologists, self-sabotage is a biological response once necessary for our survival. Our brains are wired to avoid threats, including harmless perceived threats like change. When you set a goal for yourself, your brain releases chemicals that drive you to pursue that goal, but you also feel threatened by change. Self-sabotage happens when your desire to avoid threats is stronger than your motivation to reach your goals. Building confidence helps you feel equipped to handle threats like change, so the balance shifts and you avoid self-sabotage.)
Exercise: Cultivate an Extra-Mile Mindset
According to Mylett, to go the extra mile in everything you do, you first need a mindset to support this approach to life. Reflect on your current mindset and identify areas where you can cultivate more positive ways of thinking.
- Think about a recent situation where you faced a challenge or opportunity at work or in your personal life. How did you approach it? Did you let yourself dream big about the possible outcomes, or did you limit your thinking based on past experiences?
- Reflecting on that same situation, what emotions did you experience? Were they mostly positive or negative? How might you have intentionally cultivated more positive emotions to support your goals?
- What questions did you ask yourself as you faced this challenge or opportunity? Were they empowering questions that pushed you toward growth, or limiting questions that held you back? What is one negative question you can rephrase to be more empowering?
- Consider your level of self-confidence in that situation. Did you trust in your abilities to handle the challenge or seize the opportunity? What small commitment could you make to yourself now to build more self-confidence for future situations?
