Is violence truly unpredictable? How certain should you be that you’ll never be a victim of violence?
Violence awareness is crucial for personal safety. Understanding common misconceptions about violence can help you better prepare for and avoid dangerous situations. In The Gift of Fear, security specialist Gavin de Becker seeks to help you learn to spot warning signs and take proactive measures.
Read on to discover how you can enhance your safety by understanding the nature of violence.
Raising Your Violence Awareness
To be able to predict and protect yourself from violence, you must first understand it. De Becker writes that there are several misconceptions about violence that make you more vulnerable to it. By busting these myths about violence, de Becker hopes to increase your violence awareness. Let’s take a look at each one.
(Shortform note: De Becker doesn’t directly specify what kind of violence he covers in the book, but his ideas mainly focus on physical violence—someone wanting to cause you physical harm.)
Myth #1
The first myth is that we can rely entirely on others, such as law enforcement, to keep us safe. However, de Becker argues that your safety is your responsibility. Relying solely on others to protect you from danger gives you a false sense of security and increases your risk of becoming a victim of violence.
(Shortform note: Many self-defense experts suggest you take charge of your own protection by developing situational awareness. One technique is a color-coded system that categorizes different levels of alertness, from “white” (completely unaware) to “red” (fight mode). They recommend you try to stay in “yellow” most of the time when in public—relaxed but observant of your surroundings. If you spot something suspicious, you’ll move to “orange,” where you assess the situation more closely and prepare to act if needed.)
Myth #2
The second myth is that violence only happens to other people. However, de Becker contends that, no matter how unpleasant it is to think about, you must acknowledge that violence is common and can happen to anyone. Denying this possibility hinders your ability to prepare for it.
(Shortform note: This can be a common misconception because your brain is naturally wired to be optimistic—to believe that bad things are less likely to happen to you than to others. Psychologists believe this optimism bias evolved to help you cope with life’s uncertainties: If you believe good things will happen and that you can achieve success, you’re more driven to pursue your goals. However, it can also make you feel too safe, leading to poor choices about your personal safety. For example, you might skip important health checkups or take risks like walking alone in dangerous areas at night.)
Myth #3
The third myth is that violence is random, impossible to understand, and therefore unpredictable. De Becker explains that violence often seems unpredictable because we lack information about why it occurred. For example, when we’re not aware of a perpetrator’s history of violence and abuse, we assume by default that the violence came out of nowhere. The media often exacerbates this misconception, describing violent acts as “senseless” and portraying the perpetrators as quiet, normal individuals.
However, de Becker argues that violence is predictable because it’s part of human nature, not an exception from it. People’s actions, including violence, are driven by basic needs we all share—such as seeking connection and avoiding pain. Though most find nonviolent ways to meet their needs, with the right mix of variables, everyone can be motivated to act violently. Thus, de Becker argues that for those who do turn to violence, their actions aren’t random or senseless. They have a reason and meaning for the person carrying them out, and understanding this can help you better predict and avoid violence.
(Shortform note: In Six-Minute X-Ray, Chase Hughes goes into more detail about the basic needs that de Becker mentions. Hughes says that all humans have six social needs that drive their actions: the need to feel important, the need for approval, the need for acceptance, the need to be seen as intelligent, the need to be pitied, and the need to be seen as powerful. It’s possible that if these needs aren’t met through positive means, some individuals might resort to violence as a way to fulfill them.)
| How Natural Is Violence in Humans? There’s ongoing debate among researchers about whether humans are inherently violent. Some scientists point to physical traits, like our ability to form a fist for punching (a form of aggression not seen in other primates), as evidence that humans evolved for aggressive behavior. However, others contend that violence is mainly a cultural phenomenon, not an innate biological tendency. They argue that while humans have the potential for violence, we aren’t inherently predisposed to it, and that we can limit violent behavior through reason, empathy, and social networks. The authors of Virtuous Violence agree with de Becker’s claim that most violence isn’t senseless. They argue that it’s often driven by a sense of moral righteousness: People usually don’t just make excuses for violence after they commit it—they genuinely believe it’s the right thing to do in the moment, whether it’s to protect their family, defend their honor, or uphold their cultural values. In fact, in many cultures, certain forms of violence are seen as not just acceptable, but sometimes even necessary or praiseworthy. |
