How good are you at perceiving and sending verbal and nonverbal cues? What role do cues play in charismatic communication?
Communications expert and best-selling author Vanessa Van Edwards’s theory suggests that understanding and strategically using warmth and competence cues can enhance your charisma. The cycle of charismatic communication involves perceiving, absorbing, and conveying cues.
Continue reading to understand how mastering these cues can transform your interactions and draw people to you.
Charismatic Communication
Van Edwards says anyone can become more charismatic by understanding and strategically adopting warmth and competence cues. But how does this improve your charisma? Van Edwards’s theory depends on the cycle of charismatic communication, which has three steps: perceiving cues, absorbing cues, and conveying cues.
First, when you perceive someone’s cue, you automatically begin trying to understand what it means—what message are they sending you? After you’ve perceived their cue, you absorb it—it becomes part of your understanding of the situation, and you have an emotional reaction to this update. Finally, you convey a message back to the other person, either automatically or thoughtfully—again, via your cues.
To illustrate, say your friend frowns at a joke you’ve made. Based on this cue, you might perceive that they found your joke offensive. As you absorb that information, you might feel embarrassed and make a mental note to yourself that the language you used was inappropriate. Then, you might apologize for the bad joke, using a verbal cue like imbuing your voice with emotion to convey your sincerity. (Then, the cycle continues—they perceive your cues, absorb the information you’ve conveyed, and send a message back, like accepting your apology.)
Van Edwards argues that, the more you know about cues, the more likely you are to succeed at each step of this communicative process. The ability to recognize and understand common cues helps you perceive them accurately, which means you’re more likely to absorb the right information and have an appropriate emotional response—for example, you won’t misinterpret your friend’s frown as approval, feel pleased, and decide to repeat the joke to another friend.
Finally, armed with your knowledge of cues and a decent understanding of the situation you’re in, you can choose to display the cues that project a charismatic image. This helps you communicate effectively and shape the exchange in ways that benefit you, since people are more willing to trust and collaborate with you if you seem charismatic. For example, intentionally conveying more warmth via cues may help you recover from a faux pas (like an offensive joke).
| Cues, Charisma, and Communication Difficulties Van Edwards explains that charismatic communication happens in three steps: perceiving cues, absorbing cues, and conveying cues. People with communication disorders may have more trouble than others with one or more of these steps. For example, if you have a speech disorder, you may find it harder to use some of the verbal cues Van Edwards recommends to convey your messages. Experts say that people with communication disorders face stigma, which may suggest that others see them as less charismatic. If you have a communication disorder, you can counteract stigma by educating others about your condition and advocating for yourself. Taking these steps may also help you seem more confident, boosting your charisma. Van Edwards also explains that learning about cues can help you communicate more effectively. This may be especially true if you have a communication disorder, since treatment often involves intentionally learning to reproduce the aspects of verbal and nonverbal communication you struggle with. For example, if you have a receptive language disorder that makes it hard for you to perceive and absorb others’ messages, you might spend some time working with a speech-language pathologist to learn how to interpret others’ cues. When you understand others’ cues better, you’ll feel more confident in social situations, which can help you appear more charismatic. Even if you don’t have a communication disorder, there may still be times when you find yourself struggling with communication. For example, you might have a fear of public speaking that leads you to stammer through presentations, or you might struggle with constant anxiety about whether others are angry with you. A strong grasp of cues and their meanings can help you read people better and overcome self-doubt. When you’re no longer as worried about what others are thinking of you, you’ll have the mental space to curate a charismatic image by thoughtfully exhibiting certain cues. |
