Do you want to form long-lasting, healthy relationships? How can you express gratitude to important people in your life?
According to Brian Tracy, a major part of your happiness stems from your relationships with others. This is why it’s so important to develop strong relationship skills.
If you want the best tips for good relationships, keep reading.
Build Positive Relationships
Humans are social creatures who thrive on positive connections and a sense of belonging. When you have fulfilling relationships, you feel valued, supported, and happier overall. To apply this, nurture the important relationships in your life through caring behaviors that make others feel good.
Making others feel important and good about themselves is foundational for positive relationships because every person craves approval, respect, and encouragement. When you make people feel better about themselves, they associate those positive feelings with you and want to connect more.
(Shortform note: People are hardwired for connection and cooperation, since those were crucial survival strategies for our ancient ancestors. Because we’ve evolved to live and work together, we tend to find great satisfaction in connecting with each other. Conversely, social isolation can seriously damage our emotional, mental, and even physical well-being. To illustrate this point, psychologist Abraham Maslow’s famous Hierarchy of Needs asserts that people start seeking connection as soon as their safety and security needs are met, and even before they concern themselves with building self-esteem. In other words, Maslow taught that feeling connected with other people is an even more fundamental human need than feeling good about yourself.)
Tracy offers several tips for good relationships:
Tip #1: Express Gratitude
Tracy states that one way to build positive relationships is by showing gratitude for the people in your life. Expressing thankfulness makes others feel appreciated and boosts their self-esteem. Additionally, when you focus your thoughts on the things you appreciate in your life, you’ll draw more positive experiences to you (remember the Law of Attraction).
To apply this tip, the author suggests that you simply get in the habit of thanking people sincerely, and as often as possible.
(Shortform note: One effective way to remember what you’re thankful for—and to remember to thank people—is to keep a gratitude log. In The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin suggests taking a few minutes each day to write down three things that you’re grateful for. While Rubin suggests this as a way to boost your own happiness, it’s also an effective way to find opportunities to offer sincere thanks to others. For example, if you write down that you’re grateful for the dinner your spouse cooked that day, that’s a clear reminder that you should thank them for it.)
Tip #2: Be a Good Listener
Tracy also suggests becoming an excellent listener to form strong bonds. Listening well shows people that you value what they have to say, and it makes them feel understood. To demonstrate that you’re really listening, you can focus intently without interrupting, ask questions to make sure that you’re understanding the other person correctly, and repeat back what you heard to demonstrate comprehension.
(Shortform note: Active listening skills like Tracy describes here are beneficial to both parties in a conversation. For the listener, these skills enhance understanding, build empathy, and improve information retention. By fully engaging with the speaker, the listener gains deeper insights and can respond more effectively. For the speaker, being actively listened to creates a sense of validation and importance. This mutual engagement fosters stronger relationships, reduces misunderstandings, and creates a more positive and productive interaction overall. In professional settings, active listening can lead to better problem-solving and decision-making, while in personal relationships, it can deepen emotional connections and trust.)
Tip #3: Offer Praise Frequently
Finally, Tracy suggests frequently offering praise for good behaviors and actions. In addition to boosting the recipient’s self-esteem, praise is a type of positive reinforcement, meaning the person receiving praise will be more likely to keep doing whatever they were praised for. Therefore, offering praise benefits both you and the other person: They feel good about themselves, and they keep doing things that you appreciate.
It’s best to praise people immediately after catching them doing something praiseworthy to maximize their positive emotional association with the good behavior. Additionally, be specific about what they did well, and continue to praise them every time they repeat the behavior to continue reinforcing it.
(Shortform note: To highlight how valuable regular praise can be, Gallup has reported that positive recognition (which is to say, praise) in the workplace is one of the most important factors in employee engagement. Workers who get frequent, specific, and sincere recognition from their bosses are generally happier and more productive than workers who don’t. In this report, recognition also included rewards such as bonus pay, awards, and promotions; clearly, such things don’t apply to interpersonal relationships, but you may find it helpful to show your appreciation through small gestures like buying someone a drink at the bar.)
