What kind of pain is beneficial? How can you embrace pain instead of pushing it away?
To help you overcome your limiting fear of pain, Phil Stutz and Barry Michels explain that you should train yourself to embrace pain enthusiastically. Accepting pain helps you step out of your comfort zone and try new things that open doors to opportunities.
Let’s take a closer look at the power of pain on your spiritual or psychological journey of self-improvement.
Why Pain Is Important
Stutz and Michels explain that our natural avoidance of pain—emotional or physical—keeps us from stepping out of our comfort zones and engaging with opportunities that lead to a fulfilling life. For example, say you deeply desire the love and companionship of a pet, but you’re overwhelmed by your fear of the inevitable pain you’d experience from losing them someday. As a result, you deprive yourself of a meaningful relationship full of wonderful experiences.
In this section, we’ll further explore the power of pain when you embrace it, and then guide you through the steps for overcoming discomfort in your daily life.
Reason 1: Embracing Pain Makes It Bearable; Running Away Makes It Worse
Avoiding the discomfort of a difficult situation not only allows the problem to plague you for longer, but it wastes time and energy that you could spend overcoming the issue and moving on. Instead, embracing problems puts you in sync with the natural, universal power of positive momentum: onward movement that keeps you in motion. When you persist through challenges rather than run from the pain they might cause, you also build positive momentum by proving to yourself that you’re capable of overcoming challenges. This builds your confidence, which helps you more readily embrace the discomfort of future challenges.
Reason 2: Perseverance Makes Suffering Meaningful
The authors point to Victor Frankl, a survivor of Nazi concentration camps, as an example of how you can view loss and suffering as opportunities to grow spiritually. Although Frankl lost all his loved ones and material wealth, he still preserved his integrity and spirit to move forward. He says that if he hadn’t done this, he would’ve succumbed to the suffering he experienced.
Reason 3: Embracing Pain Allows You to Chase Your Purpose
The authors explain that when you aren’t deterred by the discomfort that’s inherent in meaningful pursuits, you can pursue them without reservation and live a more fulfilling life. For example, if you’re a romantic person who’s too afraid to ask someone out because you fear the pain of rejection, overcoming this fear will allow you to express and receive the romantic love that will fulfill you.
How To Embrace Pain
When you notice yourself dreading the pain of an uncomfortable situation, perform the following thought exercise: Visualize whatever pain you’re facing as a cloud. Welcome the pain by saying to yourself, “Bring it on.” Next, enter the cloud and say to yourself, “I love pain.” Finally, imagine the cloud spitting you out and say, “Pain sets me free.”
(Shortform note: In an interview about this strategy, Michels explains that it’s not uncommon for him to perform this exercise multiple times before feeling like he’s prepared to confront whatever it is he’s afraid of. He also explains that this exercise can take him up to about thirty seconds to complete. Over time, he’s reduced this to around 3-5 seconds.)
| The Power of Visualization Techniques The unique imagery of the cloud visualization technique that Stutz and Michels propose may help you remember it more effectively. In The Memory Book, the authors explain that it’s easier to remember concrete, tangible imagery. Abstract terms—such as people’s names—don’t have a specific visual meaning associated with them, so they slip your mind more easily. Additionally, the action involved in Stutz and Michels’s exercise (stepping into the cloud and then being spat out of it) helps you retain the exercise. In Brain Rules, John Medina explains that our brains naturally detect and remember moving images because we evolved to escape fast-moving predators.) |
