This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "The Third Door" by Alex Banayan. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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Is it a good idea to try to copy someone else’s journey to success? What can you do that will leverage your particular strengths, skills, and circumstances?
Alex Banayan interviewed several highly-successful people to learn how they made it to the top. One lesson that he repeatedly came across was that, even if you copy everything someone else has done, you can’t expect to replicate their success.
Continue reading to learn why you should follow your own path and get advice on how to do it.
Follow Your Own Path
What works for one person won’t work in the same way for another person. There will be different factors and details that make it impossible to fully follow someone else’s path. Instead, you have to discover and follow your own path to your unique success.
(Shortform note: Many career advisers recommend finding your own unique path in life, but in The Defining Decade, Meg Jay cautions against taking that advice too far. She writes that young adults often get caught up in the idea that their life should be as unique and original as possible, which ironically, can set you up for failure: If you’re caught up trying to do something no one else has done, you might miss out on mastering basic skills and getting fundamental experiences that can actually launch you to success. Jay urges you to instead think of your career like a custom-made bike: The parts will be the same as everyone else’s, but the result is a unique expression of you. Thus, don’t be afraid to be unoriginal for a while in your pursuit of originality.)
Larry King: Don’t Copy Someone Else’s Style
Legendary interviewer Larry King told Banayan that the secret to getting good interviews with people was to be comfortable with who you are and not imitate the style of others. What makes another person successful might not work for you because each person’s style reflects their individual, unique way of seeing the world. Thus, for example, what worked for Oprah (being enthusiastic and emotional) wouldn’t have worked for Barbara Walters (who instead was thoughtful and strategic).
King argued that it’s only when you’ve adopted a style that reflects who you truly are that you’ll be able to genuinely connect with other people. And, it’s only when you’ve established a genuine connection that they’ll open up to you.
(Shortform note: King’s advice that being genuine will foster deeper connections to others aligns with advice from many psychologists, who point to trust as the underlying issue. When a person comes across as authentic—as if they know their values and will dependably act upon them—other people trust them to not be manipulative, to not be judgmental, and to treat others with respect. This sense of trust, in turn, encourages people to reveal their own emotions and values—leading to, for example, the quality interviews that Oprah and Walters were able to obtain.)
Warren Buffett: Pay Attention to What Others Overlook
Banayan wasn’t able to secure a private interview with Warren Buffett, the legendary investor and chairman of financial firm Berkshire Hathaway, one of the most valuable companies in the world. However, Banayan read many books about Buffett and attended a shareholder’s meeting where he was able to ask him a few questions when Buffett took questions from the audience.
One of the main insights he gathered from Buffett’s wisdom was that you should pay attention to details that others overlook, and in doing so, follow your own path instead of following the crowd. Banayan credits much of Buffett’s success to his habit of “reading the footnotes”—scouring information for details that others miss. He notes that “reading the footnotes” encapsulates Buffett’s approach to life in general: It requires you to put in extra effort and dig deeper than others, seeing what some might consider a boring task (reading footnotes) as the real secret to success, as it leads to overlooked insights.
(Shortform note: Malcolm Gladwell might call Buffett a “maven,” which, in The Tipping Point, he defines as an “information specialist,” that is, a person always on the lookout for detailed, overlooked information—particularly financial information—that helps them see trends, opportunities, and potential threats that others miss. Gladwell notes that mavens often aren’t looking for information solely for their own purposes, but rather, they like to distribute their information to help others. Buffett, with his informational stockholder meetings and well-regarded shareholder letters, fits this aspect of the maven profile as well.)
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Like what you just read? Read the rest of the world's best book summary and analysis of Alex Banayan's "The Third Door" at Shortform.
Here's what you'll find in our full The Third Door summary:
- That there are three doors in life—but most people only know about two
- Insights, tricks, and motivations to help you find your path to success
- Advice from some of the world's most successful people
